Blonde jokes

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"

So the blond come to the shop.

Blonde: How much is this TV?
Salesman: We don't tell blondes how much TVs are.
Blonde: pleas tell how much is this TV.
Salesman: nope, we don't tell blondes that.
Blonde: but why?
Salesman: 'caused it's a microwave owen.

my joke:

An blonde comes in the hospital

Healer:Please turn off this MP3-player
Blonde ignores the healer
Healer:Please TURN OFF IT!!!
The healer turns off the MP3-Player
The blonde die
The healer don't understand why?
MP3-Player:inhale,exhale.Inhale,exhale,etc.

OK I'm blonde so I get to tell blonde-jokes without a guilty conscience:

How do you get a blonde on the roof?
You tell her that drinks are on the house.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

How do you get blonde busy the whole day?

Give her a sheet of paper with a phrase "turn the other side" written on both sides.

Guy walks into a bar and starts to tell a blonde joke. The bar tender stops him and says. Hey buddy I'm blonde that girl there is blonde and those two big dudes in the back are blonde. You sure you wana tell this joke? The guy says. Naaa not if I gotta explain it four times.

What do you give the blonde who has everything?




Penicillin

80,000 Blondes gathered at Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes-Are-Not-So-Dumb" convention. The master of ceremonies says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not so dumb. Can I have a volunteer?" One pretty little blonde steps up, so the master of ceremonies asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "18." Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The master of ceremonies says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here along with media from all over the world, I guess we can give her another chance." So, asks her, "What is 5 plus 5?" After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "90."

The master of ceremonies sighs. Everyone is crestfallen and the blonde starts crying. Again, the 80,000 girls start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance." Unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, the master of ceremonies finally says, "Okay! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "4."

The stadium of 80,000 blondes start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."